“What are you having?”
“Is it a boy or a girl?”
“Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl yet?”
“When do you find out if it’s a girl or a boy?”
“What do you think it is? A boy or a girl?”
“Which one do you want? A girl or a boy?”
I’ve heard them all. Too many times to count. And here’s how I want to respond each time:
First of all:
It’s way too early to know.
Second of all:
Why do you care so much?
Will it impact your own life tremendously to know that tiny nugget of my unborn child’s information??
Third of all:
Why does it matter???
Really… Give me one good reason why it matters whether my baby has a vagina or a penis?
Here’s how I actually respond each time: It’s too early to tell, I just want a healthy baby.
Is that so much to ask? Can’t we all be satisfied with this? I’d love for my baby to have 10 fingers, and 10 toes, two eyes, ears, arms and legs and one mouth and nose. I’d love for my baby to have no neurological, genetic or other disabilities or abnormalities.
Because, really, folks, that’s what matters. That my baby will be born with a fighting chance in this terribly harsh, judgmental and vanity-obsessed world.
But I’m constantly pressed further:
Well, what’s your color scheme?
How are you supposed to buy for the baby, unless you know if it’s a boy or a girl?
Folks, let’s all take a deep breath.
If I told you we were having a boy, does that mean you’d buy us only blue things and trucks and dinosaurs and bugs and tools and sports equipment?
If I told you we were having a girl, does that mean you’d buy us only pink and purple things and dolls and makeup and barbies and dancing equipment?
Martin and I agreed before we even conceived this child that we were going gender neutral from the get-go. We’re going to ride the gender-neutral wave as long as we possibly can. And honestly, tough shit if that doesn’t work for you. Good thing it’s our kid!
We’re hoping we’ll receive all kinds of creatively neutral baby items, including footballs, dolls, art supplies, and more. We’re hoping that by staying neutral, we’ll avoid shirts that scream, “Mommy’s Little Princess” or “Daddy’s Little Devil” or any such nonsense (GROANNNNN)
Martin and I get a real kick out of thinking about what our child will enjoy the most when they arrive.
Will our baby love to sing, like Mom?
Will our baby love to read, like Dad?
Will our baby have a creative mind, like Mom?
Will our baby have a philosophical mind, like Dad?
Will our baby wish to be a veterinarian first, like Mom?
Will our baby wish to be a paleontologist first, like Dad?
We’re so thrilled to discover all these new things about BB1! In the meantime, let’s just settle with HEALTHY!