I like to think that maybe I’ve grown into my painfully awkward self, and become more socially acceptably awkward, but who am I to judge, not like I don’t have a bias or anything (insert eye roll here). Here are some examples of my awkwardness in it’s finest hour:

1. I strike up conversations with strangers… everywhere – Just the other day I struck up a conversation with a couple in the paint section of the Lowes. She was obviously pregnant, and he was not thrilled to have been dragged along to match paint to the colors on a blanket she was toting with her. She kept shooting down his suggestions for matches, and he finally said, “I don’t know why you even brought me along, if you already know which color you want.” She sighed, and pressed on to find a better match, and I laughed softly and said, “Moral support is a funny thing.” And he smiled, and she looked at me and we both laughed. Now maybe they wanted someone to take the edge off of a potential altercation, or maybe they humored me in my mad dash to a joke to lighten the mood… We’ll never know. Nevertheless: Awkward.
2. I offer help when it’s not asked of me – At Target, I overheard a woman ask an employee where to find Silly Putty. He looked completely lost. So I said, from midway down the aisle, “I’ve seen them in the dollar section, up front!” And the employee looked relieved, and the woman spun around, and wasn’t sure whether to thank me, or berate me for eavesdropping. She settled for a smile and walked away, because, inevitably, I gave her an answer that the employee didn’t have. Again: Awkward.
3. I go from 0-60 when I meet a new potential friend – You meet someone new, and you think: Yeah, I get along with this person; Perhaps we can be friends! Usually things progress slowly, you might grab coffee, or lunch, something easy and quick and then at some point you consider each other “friends”. Not me. It’s like I’m 19 and dating again, when I meet someone who might potentially be a new friend. I want to text them all the time, and ask them what they’re up to, and know how they feel and what they think about and tell them everything about me, and understand them as a human being, and hang out as much as possible – RIGHT NOW. Like, right this very instant. Inevitably, my anxiety pulls this back, because god-forbid, I drive them away tout suite… So I strive to strike that balance between TELL ME EVERYTHING LET’S BE BESTIES RIGHT THIS VERY MOMENT and “hey I just met you and this [bitch] is crazy“

I can’t be alone in my awkwardness, can I? Please tell me about your awkward moments. How do you make friends? Why is it so difficult??